Like you, I am born with an inherent resistance to complete anything worthwhile and progressive for my own sanity and well being.
Procrastination is a disease contracted via the human condition, and we all suffer from its side effects.
Its symptoms, more than often, are quite noticeable. But they can’t be seen or heard. Nor touched or smelled. Only felt.
You wake up in the morning. Having opened your eyes, you have also opened the flood gates of thought. You begin to picture your day, the things you want to do, need to do and have to do.
You become restless, knowing at some point you will have to cut the tether binding you to the safety and familiarity of your bed. But you know you can do it. You have done it before.
You need a boost. A quick fix to reassure yourself. Something to ease you into your state of flow and productivity. You reach for your phone.
2 hours pass. You are no closer to starting your day as you were when you woke up. You keep telling yourself that this will be the last meme page you dive into. The last “10 Scary Facts Of Pineapples” video you watch.
Human attention has not changed in recent years and the “millennial” mindset has not been entirely installed as a result of poor parenting or lackadaisical rules. Short term gratification has just been put more in reach as a result of technology.
Why bother working on that script, that song, that canvas, that diet, that career; when you can numb yourself with dopamine far easier with the use of your phone?
Fear is what drives procrastination. Fear of making a mistake, of being rejected and of even wasting time in not doing the right thing.
Staying in bed and consistently refreshing your social media feed means you can feel happy without even having to go through the stress of tying your laces, let alone embrace an inevitable dose of failure.
But this is a trick. You’re not really happy. You’re just drugged up. Comotozed on a cocktail of ignorance and fake instant positivity.
As soon as you do make that jump of leaving the sanctuary of your bed, you are swiftly reminded of the things you want to do, need to do and have to do.
But as I said. This isn’t anything new. People have always chosen ease over stress. We have just allowed our creations to master our choices.
I’m petrified by doing the wrong thing. So I have had countless experiences of doing, nothing. Which is fucking dumb.
Even now as I write this very paragraph, my inner critic is poking me with a stick and shouting in my face “Why are you writing? This isn’t what will help you. There is nothing to gain from you chatting shit to people who don’t care. Stop being silly and read this article on why ducks like bread.”
This voice has gotten in the way of what I want to achieve and what I want out of this life we are all doomed to live through.
But only because I listen to it.
It’s simple really. Don’t listen. Ignore it. Do that thing you are being pulled to.
If anything, if that voice is telling you not to do it, bloody well do it!
It’s one thing being your own critic, analysing what you have done and what you think needs to be done for your own personal endeavours. It’s another to listen to that voice which sticks you in a corner of self-doubt and tells you to shut up, sit still and be fine.
Fuck being fine.
Being fine is worse for you than being broken or upset.
At least when you’re in a down state you have the opportunity to learn, to look at why you are not okay with your current situation. To shed skin, adapt and move on.
When you’re fine you lack motivation, the will to improve, the desire to learn, inspire and create. But more importantly, the willingness to not be right.
We learn through our trials and succeed through the fruits of our work.
You won’t amass to the person you wish to be by accepting a flatline lifestyle.
Peaks and drops create balance and perspective.
There will always be a slump after a heady height. But there will also always be a rise after a sharp slope.
But walking along a flat surface will never take you higher.
You are always going to wake up with a choice.
Listen to the part of you that wants to stay safe, level and boring.
Or the part that wants you to embrace the challenge, accept failure and evolve.
It’s up to you to choose which one is worth lending your ear to.
As George Clinton has been chanting in his music since the early seventies:
“Free your mind and your arse will follow”
Being conscious of what you expose yourself to, allows you to tune into what you really want to hear.
This will result in you releasing what you want to do, need to do and have to do in order to become what you desperately crave to be.
Choose the right internal radio. The one playing the soundtrack you want to be narrating your reality.
Don’t lie back in bed and listen to static.